CALLING FOR INVESTIGATION, NOT COMPENSATION, OF MEXICAN GOVERNMENT
November 13, 1997
Mr. Speaker, 80 percent of all drugs in America comes through Mexico. Heroin use by 12 to 17-year-olds is at a record level. Our border patrol agents are being shot at every day. Even the life of America's Drug Czar, General McCaffrey, has now been threatened by the Mexican drug cartel. And after all this, Mexican President Zedillo says he blames the drug problem on America and wants America to compensate Mexico for all of the garbage we are causing.
Unbelievable. Our borders are wide open, our kids are strung out, our prisons overloaded, and Mexico wants to be paid for it. Beam me up. If this is a war on drugs, I am a fashion leader.
What is next, Mr. Speaker? Foreign aid for Saddam Hussein?
Do we have any brains left?
I say we should investigate the Mexican Government not compensate them.

EASIER TO FIND ELVIS THAN A GOOD FACTORY JOB HERE IN AMERICA
November 12, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Kodak is laying off 10,000 workers. Now if that is not enough to overexpose your most recent negative, Fruit of the Loom is cutting 3,000 jobs and moving to Mexico. Unbelievable. It is getting easier to find Charlie Trie and Elvis than it is to find a good factory job here in America.
Beam me up. I think it is time for Congress to ask themselves a very simple little commonsense question: If our trade program is so great, why does Japan not do it? Think about that.
I yield back all the balance of jobs and say one last thing here. From snapshots to long johns, American workers just keep getting their assets kicked.

STRAIGHT TALK ABOUT FAST TRACK
November 9, 1997
Madam Speaker, let us tell it like it is. The last fast track traded Ma Bell for Taco Bell. Today's fast track will trade more American jobs and dollars and factories to all of Central America for a '48 Ford pickup truck, two loads of pinto beans and three ballplayers to be named later. Beam me up.
In addition, I predict we will get another 25 tons of heroin, another 35 tons of cocaine, and a lot more economic development in the form of prisons, I say to my colleagues. Let us have a little straight talk. `This dog don't hunt. Pull this turkey.'
I yield back the balance of any jobs we have left.

FAST TRACK SHIPS JOBS OVERSEAS
November 8, 1997
Mr. Speaker, I am opposed to fast track. When American workers are serving Mexican tomatoes and Canadian beef at Burger King and Bob Evans, something is very wrong. The American workers are not dumb. They are fed up, they are sick and tired of unemployment compensation, sick and tired of retraining, sick and tired of promises. They are sick and tired of politics. They are busted, disgusted, and cannot be trusted to vote for cerebral politicians who continue to ship their jobs overseas.
Now, as far as I am concerned, I listened to all this `bridge to the 21st century' business. I say the bridge to the 21st century is turning into another bridge over the River Kwai. Beam me up. Bridge this, Mr. President.

A SCHOOL WITHOUT PRAYER IS A SCHOOL WITHOUT GOD
November 7, 1997
Mr. Speaker, students in Alabama are skipping school protesting the fact that they are not allowed to pray. Think about it. Even though America has guns, rape, drugs, even heroin and murder in our schools, students are not allowed to pray. Unbelievable. A school without prayer is a school without God and a nation that denies prayer is a nation that denies God; and a nation that denies God is a nation that just may welcome the devil.
Members of Congress, the Constitution may separate church and State, but the Founders never intended to separate God and the American people.
I yield back any common sense and logic we have left.

FAST TRACK IS A JOB LOSER FOR AMERICA'S WORKERS
November 6, 1997
Mr. Speaker, to pass fast track the President said he will expand job retraining and unemployment counseling by $1.2 billion. Unbelievable. The reason is very simple: More Americans will lose their jobs on yet another fast track.
To be more specific here, fast track is a loser, a job loser for American workers. What are we retraining these workers to do? How many more pantyhose crotch closer jobs are really out there, Mr. Speaker? Beam me up.
It is time to stand up and stop this madness. American workers do not want unemployment compensation, they do not want retraining, they do not want trade adjustment assistance. They want to keep their jobs and take care of their families.

BRING SOME COMMON SENSE TO FOREIGN RELATIONS
November 5, 1997
Mr. Speaker, see if this makes sense. America gives billions of foreign aid to Russia; Russia then takes American cash and builds new weapons; Russia then offers to sell the old weapons to Iran. America trying to keep nuclear technology from Iran, and they buy the old weapons from Russia. Russia then asks America for more foreign aid. America trying to keep the Marx brothers out of Russia, and I do not mean Groucho, give Russia more foreign aid.
After all this, the State Department labels the National Council Resistance, the opposition party in Iran, fighting for democracy, trying to throw those bums out. They label them a terrorist group.
Unbelievable. How dumb can Uncle Sam be? Let us tell it like it is. Those Russian nuclear scientists are not hanging around Iran to watch belly dancers. What is next? Will the Pentagon lease Tehran?
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. With a foreign policy like this, I do not know how we still have our sovereignty.

VOTE `NO' ON NAFTA EXPANSION
November 4, 1997
Mr. Speaker, let there be no mistake. The vote today on the Caribbean Trade Partnership Act is a litmus test from the White House. They want to pass NAFTA expansion, and the President is twisting arms. In fact, the President is reminding everybody that we must build a bridge to the 21st century.
Now, if that is not enough to repave your off ramp, here is how that bridge really works. The bridge brings in Mexican tomatoes, Canadian beef, illegal immigrants, narcotics, and everything under the sun made in China and Japan. The bridge takes away American jobs. The bridge takes away American factories. The bridge destroys American families.
Beam me up. That is not a bridge the White House is selling; that is a toll road leading to a dead end for American workers. Vote `no' today on that partnership act, vote `no' on NAFTA expansion.
I yield back the liberal wage jobs we keep sending overseas.

AMERICANS DO NOT TRUST FEDERAL GOVERNMENT
October 31, 1997
Mr. Speaker, poll after poll suggests a growing problem in America. Many Americans do not trust the Federal Government. Pollsters keep trying to figure it out. I believe it is not all that complicated.
In my opinion, the American people in growing numbers do not trust the Federal Government because many Americans believe that the Federal Government does not always tell the truth. The pollsters can constipate all they want over this issue. This is no brain surgery. It is very simple. No truth, no trust. Trust and truth are inseparable.
I yield back Waco, Ruby Ridge, Pan Am 103, and Camelot.

PRESIDENT JIANG SLEEPS IN LINCOLN BEDROOM
October 30, 1997
Mr. Speaker, let us see if this makes sense. China helps Iran. Iran threatens Israel and all the Middle East. Iran is a known major terrorist threat to America. But Uncle Sam gives China $60 billion a year in sweetheart trade deals.
Now, if that is not enough to massage your arthritis, after all this, President Jiang is literally sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom, being wined and dined, at taxpayers' expense, by the White House.
Beam me up. This madness has gone too far. When American foreign policy goes from honest aid to the butcher at Tiananmen Square, something is wrong, Congress, very wrong. Think about it. I yield back what national security we still have left.

WHEN WILL THE WHITE HOUSE WISE UP?
October 28, 1997
Mr. Speaker, China's President is in America. President Jiang told the press China will not tolerate any interference by the U.S. Government. In fact, President Jiang sent over a list of irritant subjects he will not even discuss, Members.
No. 1, he will not even talk about trade, even though it is going to hit $60 billion. No. 2, no, he will not talk about human rights. No. 3, he does not even want to hear about the last Presidential election. Do not mention John Huang, Charlie Trie. Stay out, Uncle Sam. And guess what? The White House said, `Don't worry, this is no big deal.'
Beam me up. The White House will not wise up until there is a full-blown rice paddy on the east lawn of the White House. Somebody is smoking dope.

DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS MUST ADDRESS DRUG PROBLEM AT OUR BORDERS
October 24, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the Democrats have claimed another victory. The Democrats were successful in stripping the Traficant amendment that would allow troops on the border from the defense bill, and all the Democrats are excited about it, even though our troops are vaccinating dogs in Haiti, they are building homes in Italy, they are guarding the borders in the Mideast, and they are filming political parties at the White House.
Mr. Speaker, a new report that just came out states that the use of heroin by 12- to 17-year-olds in America is at historic levels and our borders are wide open.
The Democrat Party did not kill the Traficant amendment. The Democrat Party is killing the Democrat Party. There is no program. And if the Republicans do not step up and protect our borders, then both the Democrat and Republican Parties should be thrown the hell out and this country needs a third, new independent party.

COLLEGE COSTS MOUNT AS COLLEGE PRESIDENTS' SALARIES RISE
October 23, 1997
Madam Speaker, economists say they are mystified. They cannot understand why college costs are going so high.
It is no mystery to me, Madam Speaker. Check this out: The president of Vanderbilt makes $480,000 a year. The president of Penn, $450,000. The president of Wake Forest, $450,000. The presidents of NYU and Yale make $425,000.
Madam Speaker, if that is not enough to tax our student loan, the president of Northeastern makes $1 million. Who is kidding whom? It does not take a Ph.D. to figure this out. Costs are going up at the college level because college presidents are getting hernias from carrying money bags around. Meanwhile, college graduates and students are filing for bankruptcy. Beam me up.
Madam Speaker, the President of the United States makes $250,000. I yield back all of those Ph.D. presidents; they are all piled higher and deeper with money bags, I might add.

$13,000 TOILETS BUILT BY PARK SERVICE
October 22, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the U.S. Park Service built a $500,000 outhouse. That is right. This Taj Mahal has a slate roof, a porch, and a cobblestone foundation. The paint cost $80 a gallon. The wildflower seed was $720 a pound.
Unbelievable. To boot, it is earthquake proof, able to withstand the shock of 6.5 on the Richter, either from without or within.
Mr. Speaker, if that is not enough to warm your globe, there is no running water and the special high-technology self-composting toilets cost $13,000 each. The Park Service said, `We tried to cut costs desperately.'
Mr. Speaker, I have a suggestion. Why do they not cut those $13,000 toilets in half to better accommodate all those half-passed bureaucrats at the U.S. Park Service?

WHITE HOUSE MUST ACCEPT CHANGE IN BURDEN OF PROOF IN TAX DISPUTES
October 21, 1997
Madam Speaker, the White House is opposed to shifting the burden of proof from the taxpayer to the IRS. The White House wants to leave it alone, smack dab on the taxpayer.
The White House says it will cost too much. Unbelievable. The IRS accuses; the taxpayer must prove it. Could my colleagues imagine George Washington opposing the Bill of Rights over dollars and cents?
Shame, White House. Shame. As far as I am concerned, the White House will get the burden of proof change in a civil tax case one way or the other. They will either accept it with common sense and good logic, or they will get it as a stone cold congressional suppository.
Madam Speaker, I would tell them, `Make your choice, White House, and make our 1040. It is time to put the Bill of Rights back into the Tax Code. Audit this.'

COINCIDENCE
October 8, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Patricia Mendoza heckled the President; she got audited. Kent Brown sued the First Lady; he got audited. The National Center for Public Policy criticized the White House; they got audited. Billy Dale got the White House mad; he got audited. Paula Jones refused a cash settlement; she got audited.
If that is not enough to tax your disgust, Shelly Davis, the author of Unbridled Power, who testified about IRS abuses before the Senate, got a notice in the mail yesterday; she is being audited.
Unbelievable. After all this, an IRS spokesman said, coincidence, all coincidence. I say, Mr. Speaker, the IRS has turned into a bunch of political prostitutes.
I want to apologize to all the hookers in America for having associated them with the IRS. I say beam me up, dot com, coincidence this.

EUROPE AND THE UNITED STATES
October 7, 1997
Mr. Speaker, France has cut a $2 billion natural gas deal with Iran, that is right, Iran. And the 15 European nations told Uncle Sam to butt out, `It is not your business, Uncle Sam.' Unbelievable. Was it Uncle Sam's business when hundreds of thousands of Americans died to liberate France and Europe from Nazi rule? Is it Uncle Sam's business to protect Europe with NATO dollars? Is Bosnia our business?
Unbelievable, folks. Iran gets $2 billion from France, Iran buys missiles from China and Russia. Iran points missiles at Uncle Sam. Beam me up. France and Europe are a bunch of asset kissers. We are financing it. I say it is time to send Europe a big fat bill. Maybe then they will appreciate freedom and Uncle Sam.

THE IRS
October 6, 1997
Madam Speaker, asking the Congress to stay out of it, the IRS is promising to reform themselves. Like a wounded TV evangelist, the IRS is begging the American people for forgiveness. They said, `This time we really mean it. Cross our hearts, hope to die.'
Spare me, Mr. Speaker. Who is kidding whom? Allowing the IRS to reform themselves would be like allowing Jeffrey Dahlmer to head up the Boy Scouts. The IRS is guilty, guilty, guilty, and every time they get caught with their fingers in our 1040's, they plead for forgiveness.
Enough is enough. I say it is time to kick these computer cowboys right up their hard drives. Pass H.R. 367 and change the burden of proof in a civil tax case. That will get it done.
With that, I yield back all those crocodile tears at the Internal Revenue Service.

MAKE MY OVERRIDE
October 1, 1997
A spokesman said the White House will reform the IRS and any congressional bill that goes too far will be vetoed; `veto,' the magic word. I expect to see Groucho's duck any day here.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker, and it is time for Congress to take a stand. Who is kidding whom? The White House reforming the IRS would be like Barney Fife trying to reform Al Capone. My colleagues know it, I know it, and the American people know it.
Let us tell it like it is. If the President wants to carry water for the Internal Revenue Service, let him, and it is time for Congress to strap on the six-shooters and tell the President, `Make my override. Veto this.'
Let us straighten those bums out.

WHITE HOUSE'S DEFENSE OF IRS IS INDEFENSIBLE
September 30, 1997
Madam Speaker, the IRS has a quota system. The IRS promotes workers who bully taxpayers. The IRS targets opponents. The IRS literally snoops through our files. The IRS has caused Bruce Barron and Alex Council to actually commit suicide. And after all this, a spokesman says the White House will champion the cause of the IRS because the criticism has been blown way out of proportion. Beam me up.
Let us tell it like it is. The White House is defending an agency that has become absolutely a Gestapo-type agency, un-American, out of control. I am totally convinced that at the White House they are out for soup with the group; they have gone for lunch with the bunch; and they must be smoking dope, so help me God.
I yield back the balance of the atrocities of the IRS.

THE IRS IS BEING PICKED ON
September 25, 1997
Madam Speaker, former IRS commissioner said, `Congressman Traficant for years has worked to turn the American people against the IRS.' He said, `It is unfair, and the IRS is not a two-headed monster.'
The IRS is being picked on. How about a pity party. Do I hear violins? Let us tell it like it is. If the IRS is not a two-headed monster, why are American citizens literally wearing bags over their heads afraid to death to tell the Government how they feel about the IRS? The truth is, the American people know the IRS, the Congress knows the IRS, and the IRS knows the IRS.
I want to say one last thing. I am going to advise IRS spokespeople to stop mentioning my name on national television. I yield back the balance of their abuses.

AMERICANS ARE SPENDING, SPENDING, SPENDING
September 24, 1997
Mr. Speaker, White House economists say the economy is breaking all records. The proof is Americans are spending, spending, spending.
Let us check out the records. Credit card debt is at a record high, $2 trillion. Individual bankruptcies are at a record high, record high; and they are up a record 27 percent again this year.
Evidently, God made weathermen to make White House economists look good, Mr. Speaker. The truth is, the reason America is spending, spending, spending is because Americans are borrowing, borrowing, and borrowing. The truth is, these White House economists are so dumb they could fall out of bed and miss the floor.
I accuse them all of inhaling over there, No. 1. And No. 2, they have become spastic over plastic in this economy. I yield back all the lost jobs that are good paying. I yield back all the record debt. And I yield back all the record bankruptcies.

IRS HAS A QUOTA SYSTEM
September 23, 1997
Mr. Speaker, according to news reports, the IRS has a quota system. IRS agents got bonuses for ripping off taxpayers. And many times taxpayers settled their cases even though they were innocent.
What is so shocking about all that? The American people have known this for years, and the American people have been telling us the IRS is incompetent, the IRS is arrogant, the IRS has abused their powers. It has gotten so bad the IRS is even above the law.
That is right, in America the accuser has the burden of proof, but not in a civil tax case. The IRS accuses, the taxpayer must prove their case. Beam me up.
Let me say this. There can be no true reform in American tax law without changing the burden of proof. It is time to handcuff them to a chain link fence and flog them with their own hefty Tax Code.
I yield back their unauthorized seizures and excessive penalties.

THEY DID NOTHING WRONG
September 18, 1997
Mr. Speaker, when it comes to Chinese money, nobody did anything wrong. Manlin Foung and Joseph Landon said, `I did nothing wrong.' David Wang and Xiping Wang said, `I did nothing wrong.' Yufang Chu said, `I did nothing wrong.' Charlie Trie said, `I did nothing wrong.' John Huang said, `I did nothing wrong.' Even three Buddhist nuns said, `I did nothing wrong.'
Tell me, Mr. Speaker, if all these people did nothing wrong, why are they all demanding immunity? Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. With Chinese trade surpluses now over $50 billion, something stinks. And I guarantee one thing, these people were not just sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom. I suspect they were playing monopoly in the Oval Office. Tell it the way it is. They look guilty, guilty, guilty. Congress should get to the bottom of this Chinese money business.

PROBLEMS AT THE POST OFFICE
September 17, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Martha Cherry, a letter carrier for 18 years, has been fired. The Postal Service said, `Your stride is too short.' If that is not enough to put a runner in your pantyhose, check this out.
According to the Postal Service, they wrote in the report that the heels of your leading foot did not pass the toe of your trailing foot by more than 1 inch, thus it took you 10 minutes longer to deliver the mail.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. Is this the KGB or the Postal Service? The truth is, these postal managers could not deliver their way out of a paper bag. I believe they do not even know their heads from their assets. I say the Congress should join with Martha Cherry and give her a hand in putting her 13-inch goose step right up their gestapo tactics.
After all, I admit the Postal Service has a problem, but it is not Martha Cherry's footwork.
I yield back the balance of all this chicanery.

IRS AUDITS PAULA JONES
September 16, 1997
Mr. Speaker, just days after Paula Jones rejected a settlement and her lawyers deserted her, the IRS has slammed Paula Jones with an audit. Now, if that does not seem strange, check this out: Paula Jones has no income. Paula's husband makes $37,000. They do not own a home. They rent. They have two children and only own one car.
Now tell me, Mr. Speaker, how many families of such meager means get audited? The IRS says, `Wait a minute. The IRS did not target Paula Jones.' The IRS says, `We have nothing to do with the White House, and the IRS never has political targets.'
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. Let us tell it like it is. The IRS did not just target Paula Jones. The IRS is nuking Paula Jones because of the sensitive politics involved. I say Congress should target the IRS and straighten those bunch of henchmen out.

AMERICANS WANT TO CHANGE CIVIL TAX CASE BURDEN OF PROOF
September 11, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the American Bar Association does not want it, former IRS commissioners do not want it, the current IRS commissioner does not want it, tax attorneys do not want it, IRS collection agents do not want it. All of these bureaucrats and special interest people do not want Congress to change the burden of proof in a civil tax case.
Some surprise, Mr. Speaker.
All of these bureaucrats and special interest people have one major thing in common: They all make big bucks off the backs of the American people. Beam me up. I must admit, the only people in America that support changing the burden of proof in a civil tax case are the American people, in record numbers, and it is very simple: They are taxed off, they are fed up, and they want Congress to right this major wrong. Congress was not elected to represent special interest bureaucrats and the IRS.

REPEAL BAD LEGISLATION LIMITING FLUSH WATER IN TOILETS
September 10, 1997
Mr. Speaker, a flush is not a flush. The old standard toilet flushed away 3.5 gallons of water, so Congress in its inimitable wisdom passed a new law that said all toilets in America must use only 1.6 gallons of water. Since then, Americans are flushing, flushing, flushing like mad, wasting more water than ever, recklessly trying to remove all of that void.
Mr. Speaker, it has gotten so bad there is literally a black market for the old toilet. The American people, Mr. Speaker, are a flush away from a major movement. Beam me up. I say, if Congress can repeal prohibition, Congress can repeal this toilet. That is right, think about it. From the conservative movement to the progressive movement, Congress can reach out and touch the American people where they need it the most, in the bathroom. After all, one good flush deserves another.
I yield back whatever in Members' minds they believe needs to be yielded back.

FAST TRACK TRADE AUTHORITY
September 9, 1997
Mr. Speaker, stating that exports to Mexico have increased, the President now wants fast track for all of Latin America. In a way that is true.
Check this out. Last month, Fruit of the Loom cut 2,400 jobs in Louisiana, citing no regulations and cheaper labor. As a result, Fruit of the Loom is exporting factories and machinery overseas. This is out of control, Mr. Speaker.
First, the President donates his boxer shorts to charity, then literally takes the tax deduction for it. Now the President wants to donate our BVDs, Mr. Speaker, and give us a training voucher for a job in Latin America.
Beam me up. This is not fast tracking. This is backtracking. I yield back the Constitution that mandates a two-thirds ratification vote of the U.S. Senate to enact a treaty, if anybody abides by the Constitution around here.

FUNDRAISING AND COMMUNITY OUTREACH
September 5, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the White House said, `We must stop campaign spending abuses. Our Government is not for sale.' If that is not enough to cause you a hernia, check this out. Three Buddhist nuns who pledged a vow of poverty raised $100,000 at a fundraiser held at a temple no less, now being called by the White House a community outreach program. I ask, reaching out for what?
Souls? Or dollars?
The truth is, if it was not a fundraiser, why did the nuns shred all the evidence? The nun answered, `Look, I don't know what made me do it. Perhaps fear made me do it.' I would like to add that is about as good a cover-up answer as anybody could give; after all, she could have said, the devil made me do it.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker, beam me up.
I guarantee one thing. They did not shred any cash over there at that temple, and I yield back the balance of all this innocence.

PASS H.R. 367 AND PUT SOME CONTROLS ON THE INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE
September 4, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the IRS says, `Members are picking on us.' Poor, poor IRS; do I hear violins? How about a pity party? Let us tell it like it is:
When an $80,000 disagreement turns into $330,000 in penalties and fines in 3 short years, when taxpayers commit suicide, when taxpayers are told to their face that they just died, when taxpayers, in fact, are targeted for audits because they politically oppose the IRS, we are not picking on the IRS, we are telling the truth.
Mr. Speaker, the further truth is, when the IRS makes Vito Corleone look like a Boy Scout, something is very wrong.
Shame IRS, shame. They should hide their two faces. It is time for the Congress, like the people, to be taxed off, and pass H.R. 367 and put some controls on the executive branch and the Internal Rectum Service.

RIGHT ON, MRS. BARRON
September 3, 1997
Mr. Speaker, on the advice of their accountant, the Barrons of New Hampshire took an $80,000 investment loss. Years later, the IRS came in, they said no, and they hit the Barrons with a $330,000 tag in penalties and interest; $330,000, unbelievable. The pressure was so great Bruce Barron killed himself. After the death, the IRS took the home, took everything they had.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker.
Under a new law, Mrs. Barron is suing the IRS, and I say, right on. I hope the IRS gets their assets kicked all the way up to their gestapo tactics. The IRS, after all, has deserved it; the IRS has earned it.
Think about it, Congress, and I yield back all the rest of that IRS loan sharking and ripoffs of interest and penalties.

FBI LEAKS TO PRESS ARE NO MISTAKE
July 31, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Louis Freeh said the FBI did not leak the name of Richard Jewell as the Atlanta bomber to the press. Who is kidding whom? Every policeman in America knows it is a common practice of the FBI to leak information to the press.
Let us tell it like it is. The FBI is once again lying through their teeth. They lied about Ruby Ridge, they lied about Waco, they are lying about Richard Jewell. Lies, lies, lies, and they say they are mistakes.
Let there be no mistake, Congress, these are not mistakes, these are crimes and it is time for FBI criminals to be prosecuted. Stand up, Congress.

BORDER PATROLS
July 30, 1997
Mr. Speaker, due to an unfortunate shooting on the border, the Pentagon has removed our military troops from the Mexican border. That shooting must be investigated, but the simple truth is in the last 3 months seven Border Patrol agents were shot and the borders are now wide open.
And from the community where this young man was shot, a group came up to meet with me, and listen to what they said, Congress. They said they want open borders, no immigration. They oppose military troops on the border.
Of an 8-hour shift, the Border Patrol spends 6 hours in coffee shops, and their local sheriff was convicted and is in jail for smuggling 2,200 pounds of cocaine.
Beam me up. America has no drug program. We have got open borders. We have got heroin and cocaine on every street corner. Kids are dying and the White House is more concerned with politics than our children. Congress, wake up. When it is as easy to get heroin and cocaine as it is to get aspirin, there is something wrong in high places.

CHARLIE TRIE
July 29, 1997
Madam Speaker, if you thought John Huang was something, get a load of Charlie Trie. This Little Rock restaurant owner, who has suddenly mysteriously disappeared, did not mess around. Charlie Trie went right to the Bank of China; $1 million was wired from the Bank of China, directly to Charlie Trie's bank account that happened to end up in the Democrat National Committee.
Let us tell it like it is. When money from the Bank of China ends up in a Presidential campaign, it is not about fundraising anymore, Madam Speaker, it is destroying our national security. Truth is, when it comes to power politics, Chinese money literally grows on trees. Beam me up, Madam Speaker. There should be more investigation into this Chinese money business.

BEWARE OF UNITED STATES-CHINA RELATIONSHIP
July 24, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the country that tried to buy our presidency is now a country that holds the fate of the U.S. economy in its claws. While politicians in Washington are playing politics, China is now holding the third largest United States debt, right behind England and Japan. Beam me up.
And make no mistake, the people running China are Communists. Communists do not give a damn about democracy, and Communists have never supported America.
Beware, Democrats alike, do not take China lightly and do not take John Huang lightly. Huang just did not have friends at the Commerce Department, Huang has friends in high Communist places.
I yield back the balance of some problems here.

TWO HUANGS DO NOT MAKE A RIGHT
July 22, 1997
Mr. Speaker, John Huang says he never broke the law, he never raised campaign money for the Democrats while he worked for the Commerce Department. The gutless wonder now says, `My wife did it.' That is right. John Huang says that Jane Huang was the one that raised the half million dollars from the Indonesian landscaper that ended up having to be returned because the landscaper never filed his taxes. In addition, Jane Huang raised $12,000 from John Huang's old boss at Lippo.
And after all this, John Huang says, `Hey, behind every good man is a good woman. I did nothing wrong.'
Jane Huang says, `I did nothing wrong.'
Tell it like it is. Two Huangs do not make a right. If there is any consolation, my colleagues, John Huang could have blamed Jane Doe, not Jane Huang.
I yield back the balance of this Communist intrusion into our political process

DEMOCRATS NOW AGREE THAT THROUGH JOHN HUANG, CHINA ATTEMPTED TO INFLUENCE AMERICAN POLITICS
July 16, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Democrats now agree with Republicans: China tried to influence American politics. No kidding, Sherlock. I think Barney Fife could figure that out.
Check this out. Hip Hing Holdings, a California company that only owns an abandoned parking lot in L.A. and who lost $1 million, gave $67,000 to the Democrat National Committee. Hip Hing got the money from Lippo Group. Lippo Group has ties to China. The money was gotten for Hip Hing from Lippo by John Huang. John Huang worked for Lippo and also worked for Hip Hing. John Huang later worked for the Commerce Department and later worked for the Democrat National Committee, but John Huang now says, `What is the big deal? I also gave money to the March of Dimes and the Boy Scouts of America.'
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. John Huang was not hired to raise money for the Boy Scouts; John Huang was hired to raise money to help China. I yield back the balance of all of this mess.

FRANCE SAYS NO TO AMERICA
July 10, 1997
France once again says no to America. This time no money for NATO expansion. Unbelievable. President Chirac is an ingrate. Chirac should visit the cemetery at Normandy. Thousands of American soldiers died to liberate France from Nazi rule. Then the American taxpayers spent billions to rebuild France and all of Europe, and after all this France does nothing but complain.
First of all, they complain about NATO, then they refuse to allow American war planes to land on their way to Libya. Complain, complain, complain. Now they want us to pick up the tab for their cost of protecting Europe. Beam me up. I say Chirac and France should shove their complaints up their assets, and we should stop funding and paying for the liberation of France.

LET US START CARING ABOUT AMERICAN KIDS
July 9, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Mexico's top narcotics organization has threatened to kidnap and murder American officials. The FBI said the Arellanno-Felix organization, in an effort to protect their drug shipments on our borders, will come in America and will kill.
Unbelievable here. America is overrun with heroin and cocaine, we have got kids dying in Chicago, Los Angeles, New York, and who cares, Congress? Who really cares?
And there is now a group of people trying to take the Traficant language out of the defense bill that authorizes, but not mandates, the use of the troops on our borders.
Are they nuts? Are they inhaling or what? Wake up, Congress. What has to happen? Will one of these narcotics organizations have to kidnap our drug czar?
America has no program, none, zero, and our borders are wide open.
Let us start caring for American kids.

EPA IN OUR WALLETS AGAIN
June 26, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the EPA is once again in our wallets. The EPA is forcing American companies and workers to cough up $60 billion for new clean air regulations. To boot, EPA's own scientists say these regulations are not justified. Now if that is not enough to file your chapter 7, Congress never approved them. Beam me up. Talk about a government coming at us. IRS one day, EPA the next.
Wake up, Congress. The people did not elect the EPA. They elected a Congress to run our Government. I say fire these fat-cat bureaucrats of the EPA who are so dumb they could throw themselves at the ground and miss. After all, we can hire regulators a lot cheaper from Korea to screw our country up.
I yield back the balance of any more of this pollution.

IRS EMPLOYEE CRIMES
June 25, 1997
Mr. Speaker, there is a new management board to clean up the IRS. The GAO said the IRS cannot even handle their own money, and that IRS employees have illegally snooped into unsuspecting taxpayers' accounts.
Now, if that is not enough to seize your tooth fairy money, check this out. An IRS bankruptcy specialist, Reva Vanzijl, stole social security numbers, then ripped off $10,000 from the credit cards of unsuspecting taxpayers.
`But don't worry,' the IRS said, `we got Reva and we convicted her and we threw the book of justice at her.' Check this out: Reva got 6 months of home arrest and a $3,000 fine.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. I say the IRS does not need a management board. The IRS needs a parole board. As for this proverbial book of justice, I say the IRS should shove that book of justice up their audit. I yield back all their crimes.

IRS MICROMANAGING AMERICA'S UNDERWEAR
June 24, 1997
Mr. Speaker, an IRS manager in Florida has imposed a new rule: No cotton clothing below the waist. One IRS agent said, `It is so hot down here, I am roasting my buns off.' Unbelievable, the IRS is now micromanaging America's underwear. Think about it. Liens on leotards, the seizures of BVD's, foreclosures on pantyhose, on and on and on.
There is one good thing, Mr. Speaker: Now the IRS is finally getting a dose of their own medicine. How does it feel? How do they like losing their shorts, like the rest of us? Maybe now the IRS will realize that having your assets seized is not all it is cracked up to be, Congress.
In closing, I recommend the following therapeutic advice to the IRS: Take two aspirins and two trays of ice cubes down your jockey shorts and see what it is really like. You will have a better sleep and you will feel better in the morning.

SUPPORT DEMOCRACY IN ALBANIA
June 20, 1997
Mr. Speaker, since 1992 Albania has evolved into a democracy. Inspired by their dynamic leader, Speaker of Parliament Arbnori, who spent 25 years in prison struggling for democracy, they were able to set communism aside. Mr. Speaker, those great triumphs are now in danger. The Communist Party in Albania vowed to disregard the outcome of the June 29 elections unless the Communist Party wins.
Mr. Speaker, this is a great tragedy, and this is a danger for the entire free world. Albania can become the next Bosnia. Congress must ensure free and open elections in Albania. Congress must support Speaker Arbnori, and in addition, the Congress of the United States should support admitting a free, open, and democratic Albania into NATO. The Albanians have set communism aside. Congress must join to help the freedom fighters in Albania.

COMMON SENSE FOR CONGRESS
June 18, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the White House says that the Republicans help the rich and hurt the poor. From taxes to disaster aid, let there be no mistake: The White House is winning.
But I ask at what expense? Rich versus poor, black versus white, man versus woman, old versus young. Politics of class, politics of race, the politics of fear, the politics of division. Yes, the White House is winning. The White House is winning the political spin battle, but I say to the Congress, unless both parties start to use some common sense and stop cannibalizing one another, the American people will lose this war. All of them. Any party that is that bad would never get elected.

AMERICANS ARE FED UP WITH FEDERAL BUREAUCRATS
June 17, 1997
Mr. Speaker, in Boston for the last 14 days the Sweeney family has literally barricaded their property, fighting the Federal Government who they say is trying to take their home. Now, I do not know who is right or wrong in this case, but one thing is for sure. Many American people are fed up with fat cat government bureaucrats.
Open your eyes, Congress. EPA, IRS, FBI, FDIC, ATF, intimidation, liens and seizures, technicalities, regulations, on and on, and every single day more messages and signals keep coming to Washington; and no one here seems to be listening.
Mr. Speaker, it is not just Texas and Idaho, now it is Michigan, New York, and even the wealthy suburbs of Boston. I say, Mr. Speaker, what is next? Maybe another Tea Party? Do not be surprised when a nation that forgets their history is many times apt to revisit it.

AMEND THE CONSTITUTION TO PREVENT BURNING OF OLD GLORY
June 12, 1997
Mr. Speaker, in America it is illegal to burn trash, but we can burn the flag. In America it is illegal to remove a label from a mattress, but we can rip the stars and stripes from the flag. In America it is illegal to damage a mailbox, but we can destroy the flag.
Scholars say the Constitution allows it. Maybe so, but the original Constitution allowed slavery and treated women and Indians like cattle. Mr. Speaker, it is time to change the Constitution.
A people that do not honor and respect their flag is a people that does not honor and respect their neighbors or their country. If individuals want to make a political statement, they can burn their bras, burn their pantyhose, burn their BVD's, but they should leave Old Glory alone.
It is time to amend the Constitution.

TIME TO LOOK AT WORKERS' RIGHTS IN AMERICA
June 11, 1997
Mr. Speaker, since 1888, Reznor heaters were made in Mercer, PA. Yesterday, Reznor executives told their workers if you do not accept the $2.20 an hour cut, we will move the plant to Mexico; take it or leave it. Four hundred dollars a month, $5,200 a year, $15,600 in cuts over the life of a 3-year contract. Take it or leave it, workers. We will go to Mexico.
Shame, Congress. Mr. Speaker, Reznor executives are holding the gun to their workers' heads. The Congress of the United States is pulling the trigger all around America. Shame, Congress. How about some more NAFTA? I think it is time to take a look at the rights of American workers. I yield back any jobs that might be left.

THE ECONOMY
June 10, 1997
Mr. Speaker, if this economy is so great, why are American workers losing their jobs? If this economy is so great, why are American workers going bankrupt in record numbers? If that is not enough to massage your Dow Jones, check this out: If this economy is so great, why do many families need three jobs just to pay their bills?
Let us tell it like it is: When you hold this economy to your nosey, this economy does not smell so rosy. If there is any consolation to the American workers, I never heard of anyone in America committing suicide by jumping out of a basement window.
I yield back all the propaganda on this great economy.

THE IRS
June 04, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the IRS, in denying the 1996 tax return and refund to Pamela Damon, said, Pamela Damon, you are dead. You have been dead for 26 years. Now, if that is not enough to bury your 1040, Pam went to the Social Security Administration. They called the IRS and they said, Pam is here in our office, she is alive. They said, Pam's presence is not enough. She is dead as far as the IRS is concerned.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker.
I recommend that Congress do two things. No. 1, hire a proctologist to perform brain scans on all those morticians at the IRS. And No. 2, pass H.R. 367, that simply transfers the burden of proof to the IRS.
Unbelievable. Pam Damon is alive.

TIMOTHY MCVEIGH HAS ONLY ONE RIGHT LEFT
June 3, 1997
Mr. Speaker, Timothy McVeigh has been convicted of mass murder. A jury will now deliberate whether McVeigh gets life in prison or the death sentence. I say, did McVeigh give any of those 168 innocent victims an opportunity to plea bargain? Did McVeigh give any of those 19 murdered children an opportunity for a life sentence? I ask, did McVeigh in fact give any consideration at all to the innocent victims and the families of those victims? No, Mr. Speaker.
I say that Timothy McVeigh has only one right left. The jury should read Timothy McVeigh his `last rites.' Timothy McVeigh should be put to death, period.
Mr. Speaker, an America that allows mass murderers to plea bargain is an America that is turning its back consistently on innocent victims and citizens. I say it is time to stop the record number of graves and cemeteries all over our country.

PROVIDING HOUSING FOR RUSSIAN SOLDIERS WHILE AMERICANS ARE UPROOTED BY MILITARY BASE CLOSINGS
May 22, 1997
Mr. Speaker, even though American families are being uprooted with military base closings, Uncle Sam gave millions of dollars to Russia to build housing for Russian soldiers. Now, if that is not enough to throw up your vodka, check this out. News reports confirm that one of Russia's top generals has been arrested for taking bribes, bribed with American cash. These reports say the top Russian military officials have used American dollars to build elegant country homes, and there have hardly been any homes built for Russian soldiers.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. When American veterans are losing their homes and America continues to give money to Russia, it is being used to build homes for the military elite, something is wrong.
Are we nuts here?
Is everybody inhaling in D.C.?
I say not one more dollar for these fat cat Russkie nincompoops. Let us use our money to help American military.
Mr. Speaker, I yield back the balance of any jobs and money left.

COURT MARTIAL FOR LT. KELLY FLYNN
May 21, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the Pentagon said Lt. Kelly Flynn, the first woman to fly a B-52, committed adultery and lied. Lt. Kelly Flynn admits she made a mistake. For this, the Pentagon has chosen to court-martial Lieutenant Flynn.
What a country, Congress. Jimmy Swigert can return to prime time, but Kelly Flynn gets hard time. Unbelievable. For years G.I. Joe was given a condom and a slap on the wrist, but now G.I. Jane gets a court-martial, a slap in the face, and to boot, labeled as Jezebel for life. I ask, if this was Lt. Erol Flynn instead of Lt. Kelly Flynn, would there be a court-martial, Congress? Beam me up.
The truth is these Pentagon fat cats have been sitting on their bureaucratic self-righteous brasses far too long. What is next, gentlemen? Chastity belts? I yield back the balance of all this adultery and crime.

NO MFN FOR CHINA
May 20, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the White House supports MFN for China. The United Nations supports MFN for China. The Council on Foreign Relations and the Trilateral Commission, they support MFN for China; and naturally, China more than anyone else supports MFN for China.
It seems everyone supports MFN for China except American workers, and I think their reason is right on target. America's trade policy sucks. We are not going to have a job left, folks.
I would just like to say in closing out here that while we are budgeting our limited assets together, China keeps laughing all the way to the bank with a huge surplus.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker, dot com.

WE NEED SOME COMMON SENSE AT THE LABOR DEPARTMENT
May 16, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the Labor Department says there are more jobs than ever. I would like to discuss a few.
Ear muff assembler, dog food mixer, vibrator tester, worm picker, belly builder, dog washer, diaper machine tender-supervisor, hooker inspector, and a pantyhose crotch closer machine operator supervisor.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. The truth is I think we need some common sense at the Labor Department. Sun Apparel just laid off 600 workers, moving to Mexico; Johnson & Johnson laid off 100 workers, moving to Mexico.
The truth of the matter is that I think we should move the Labor Department to Mexico, and create some good jobs in America. I yield back all these jobs.

DENY CHINA MFN STATUS
May 15, 1997
Mr. Speaker, China's trade surplus with America may exceed $50 billion this year, and experts say it is no accident.
China smacks Uncle Sam right in the kisser with a 35-percent tariff on all goods and products. Thirty-five percent tariff. If that is not enough to wrap General Cho in a golden parachute, check this out. With that $50 billion from Uncle Sam, China, reports say, is now buying aircraft carriers, warships, nuclear submarines and intercontinental ballistic missiles.
It does not take the Three Stooges to figure it out. China is not exactly creating a neighborhood crime watch over there. I say Congress should deny MFN to China and Congress should impose a 35-percent tariff until China removes their tariff.
And let me say one last thing. A Congress that takes away a gun from a mugger will never be called a protectionist. This may boil the blood of some free traders, but China is ripping us off.

CONGRESS SHOULD TAKE A LOOK AT CHINA,
THE NEXT MAJOR NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT
May 14, 1997
Mr. Speaker, China violates American trade laws, China threatens to nuke their neighbors, China sells nuclear weapons to our enemies, China tries to influence American elections, and to boot, there is no political freedom in China. There is no religious freedom in China. Let us not forget China is still a Communist dictatorship.
Mr. Speaker, if that is not enough to compromise your samurai, there is a group of Washington politicians who want to reward China with permanent, that is right, permanent most-favored-nation trade status. Beam me up.
I say there should be some permanent brain surgery for these permanent politicians performed by some permanent proctologist; permanent this, China. Congress had better take a look at the next major national security threat that is a dragon about ready to eat our assets.

NAFTA IS NOT WORKING
May 13, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the White House says NAFTA is creating new and exciting jobs. I did some research on those jobs: zipper trimmer, brassiere tender, jelly roller, bosom presser, chicken sexer, sanitary napkin specialist, and a pantyhose crotch closer machine operator. That is what I call exciting jobs, Mr. Speaker.
According to the Philadelphia Inquirer, they are so great that 90 percent of the American workers are literally worried sick about losing their jobs and losing their homes. Beam me up. I say NAFTA is working for Mexico, Chile, Canada, yes, even Japan and China. Think about it.
With that I yield back all the balance of those unsexed chickens.

NO SUNSHINE AT FEDERAL RESERVE BOARD
May 8, 1997
Mr. Speaker, school boards, council meetings, all public meetings in America are subject to the sunshine law, except the Federal Reserve Board. The Fed says what America does not know is good for America. If that is not enough to starch your leotards, check this out:
The Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City allowed 28 officials from China, Japan, and Europe to attend one of their meetings where they discussed monetary policy. Unbelievable. The American people are shut out, even Congress is shut out, but the Chinese, the Japanese, and the Europeans are allowed in.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. It is time for Congress to audit and investigate these bunch of internationalists setting our monetary policy that allow the Chinese and the Japanese in.
American sunshine, no way. Rising sun, welcome. The last I heard, Uncle Sam controlled the Fed, not Uncle Sucker. Let us get our job done.

CONDOMS SUBJECT TO MILITARY SCRUTINY
May 7, 1997
Mr. Speaker, even though the Pentagon is cutting costs and talented officers are being forced out, the Pentagon spent $90,000 last year to study condom preference and the failure rates of condoms in the military.
If that is not enough to kill your rabbit, the Pentagon still does not know if a Patriot missile can stop the Silkworm, but they know for sure which condom can save the Republic. What is next, Mr. Speaker, a $100,000 study to find out if soldiers prefer boxer shorts over briefs? If women in the military prefer Maidenform over Wonder Bra?
Beam me up. I say with this study the Pentagon has reached the apex of their condominium. There is no budget crisis in the District of Columbia. There is a common sense crisis in the District of Columbia.
I yield back the balance of any heretofore untested condoms still subject to military scrutiny.

CONGRESS SHOULD FIRE CIA AND HIRE CNN
May 6, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the Senate is about to confirm another director of the CIA, even though America found out about the collapse of the Soviet Union on CNN. America learned of the fall of the Berlin Wall on CNN. America found out about Saddam Hussein's invasion of Kuwait on CNN.
After all this, Congress keeps pouring billions of dollars into that big sinkhole called the Central Intelligence Agency. I say, with a track record like that, Congress does not need a Committee on the Budget; Congress needs a proctologist.
I think the record is real clear. Congress should fire the CIA and hire CNN. Maybe we will learn what is happening in the world.

CITIZENSHIP USA
May 1, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the Immigration and Naturalization Service admits that up to 180,000 criminals were improperly granted citizenship. The INS now says we made a mistake and allowed applicants to submit copies of their own fingerprints, and the criminals submitted phony prints. Beam me up.
I say it is time to wage a real war on illegal immigration and drugs. Let us transfer some of our military troops falling out of chairs on arm rests, cashing their American paycheck in Tokyo and Frankfurt and put them on our border and stop this business. This is a joke. This program called Citizenship USA has turned into Criminal USA. It does not take Karnak the Magnificent to figure it out.
Congress should fire those incompetent, stumbling, bumbling nincompoops at the Immigration and Naturalization Service. Print this.
I yield back the balance of all illegal immigrants.

IRS HAS GONE HOG WILD
April 30, 1997
Mr. Speaker, in San Diego, Mindy, the potbellied pig, dialed 911. Authorities cannot figure out what caused this devious swine to perpetrate such a dirty deed. They asked, did Mindy accidentally fall out of bed? Was Mindy calling Pizza Hut, or was Mindy the potbellied pig simply love sick, calling for Mr. Good Pig?
Mr. Speaker, the truth is, Mindy dialed 911 to tell Congress to get the snouts of the IRS out of the assets of the American people.
Mr. Speaker, I agree with Mindy the potbellied pig, this is hog sense. The IRS has gone hog wild. Pass H.R. 367 and change the burden of proof in the Tax Code and treat taxpayers like every other citizen under the Constitution.
I yield back the balance of this hog sense business.

COMMONSENSE FOREIGN POLICY
April 29, 1997
Mr. Speaker, America gives billions to Russia. With American cash, Russia builds missiles. Russia then sells those missiles to China, and China, who gets about $45 billion in trade giveaways from Uncle Sam, then sells those Russian-made missiles to Iran.
Now, Iran, with those Russian made missiles sold to them by China, threatens the Mideast. So Uncle Sam, who is concerned about Iran threatening the Mideast because of those Russian-made missiles sold to them by China that were financed by American cash, sends more troops and sends more dollars. Beam me up.
Now, if that is not enough to tax your rubles, check this out. Boris just signed a deal with those Chinese dictators that makes NATO look like the neighborhood crime watch.
Mr. Speaker, this is not foreign policy. This is foreign stupidity. I think a little common sense would go a lot further than all of these think tank experts and their advice.

WORLD BANK GIVING AMERICAN DOLLARS AWAY
April 23, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the World Bank, funded by American dollars, just gave another $250 million to Russian coal miners. The problem is no one knows what happened to the first $250 million. That is right, bye-bye, $250 million.
Now, if that is not enough to massage your chapter 11, check this out: Russian officials say the $250 million is lost. Where is the money, Mr. Speaker?
Since 1992, $7 billion of American money going to the World Bank ends up in Russia. Where is the money?
I say, while the World Bank, with American dollars, is providing jobs for Soviet and old Soviet Russian coal miners, American coal workers are getting pink slips and black lung.
Beam me up. I say somebody at the World Bank is smoking dope and they are inhaling. I think we need some common sense here. Yield back the balance of our carcinogens involved with this.

OUR VETS DESERVE THE TRUTH
April 10, 1997
Mr. Speaker, thousands of gulf war vets have complained about nerve gas problems to no avail, and after all this the CIA now admits they had warnings as early as 1984 that Iraq had stored nerve gas in their ammunition depots that were later blown up by American troops. Unbelievable. The CIA now says they did not tell the Pentagon and it was a mistake.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. I do not believe the CIA, and when thousands of gulf war vets are treated like whining hypochondriacs something is very wrong. I say these vets deserve the truth and the help of Congress.
Furthermore, I say to my colleagues, if we want to balance the budget, we could save $30 billion in our intelligence budget by hiring Barney Fife, who will do a much better job and be a hell of a lot more honest.

HOW DUMB CAN WE BE?
April 9, 1997
Mr. Speaker, America's building a new war machine that promises to be the mother of all mayhem, an awesome air force and navy and the greatest land army ever in world history. And America is bankrolling this Goliath in China. That is right, in China, despite the fact that China is a brutal dictatorship that has already threatened to nuke their neighbors.
Now, Mr. Speaker, I say to the Congress, `If that's not enough to freeze dry your stir fry, check this out.'
While China now sells Barbie and GI Joe to our kids, General Cho is stocking our assets.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. Hard-earned dollars by American workers building the next national security threat to the United States of America; how dumb can we be? How dumb?
The bottom line: Chinese toys today, but maybe just maybe a Chinese missile tomorrow. Think about it.

ROTTEN ILLEGAL BERRIES FOR AMERICA
April 8, 1997
Mr. Speaker, schoolchildren in Michigan got sick eating strawberries that were tainted with the hepatitis A virus. Now if that is not enough to sour your shortcake, check this out.
The strawberries were illegally imported from Mexico and sold to the school lunch program in violation of Buy America laws. Unbelievable, huh? It never stops, and no one seems to care. Military boots from China, cars from Japan, beef from Australia, telephones from Singapore.
Mr. Speaker, it is all called New World order, and here is how it works; Jobs for China, jobs for Australia, jobs for Japan, jobs for Mexico, and berries for America, rotten illegal berries for America.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. It is time to put a few straw bosses in jail and mandate country of origin labels on all food products.
Mr. Speaker, I yield back the balance of any further disease.

THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT CANNOT POLICE ITSELF
March 20, 1997
Mr. Speaker, the Justice Department cannot police itself. At Ruby Ridge, a 14-year-old boy was shot and killed, and his mother, holding her infant child, was shot and killed, shot right between the eyes; no criminal charges.
At Waco, 83 Americans were killed, including 20 children; no criminal charges were filed.
In Chicago, a court ruled that Justice Department personnel gave sex and drugs and alcohol to a number of informants to get them to offer perjured testimony; no criminal charges were filed.
Mr. Speaker, who is kidding whom? When an unarmed 14-year-old can be shot and killed, his mother shot between the eyes, and there are no criminal charges filed, and the Justice Department says it was simply a mistake, Mr. Speaker, there is no justice in America. It is time for Congress to pass laws that will provide for independent counsel to investigate wrongdoing at the Justice Department.

COMBAT BOOTS FROM CHINA?
March 18, 1997
Mr. Speaker, last week the Pentagon denied that combat boots made in China were issued to our troops. The Pentagon said they awarded four contracts to American companies. It was impossible for that to happen.
Mr. Speaker, it is evident that the Pentagon's left foot does not know what their right foot is wearing. I have Nighthawk combat boots in my possession, made in China, that were issued to a sergeant of the Air Force Reserve.
Now, let us tell it like it is. The Pentagon has always told us in debates, if they could not buy those cheaper imports, they could not keep their costs down. You know what I tell Congress to do? Tell the Pentagon that we can hire generals and admirals a lot cheaper from Korea, too, and we could keep the cost down.
I am asking my colleagues to join me in investigating this matter, why military combat boots were issued to our troops.

FREEDOM FOR VIOLENT CRIMINALS
March 13, 1997
Mr. Speaker, against the wishes of Florida officials, the Supreme Court has allowed 500 violent criminals in Florida to go free. When they restored time off to relieve overcrowding, the court said promises were made.
Now, check this out:
Mitchell Sexton stabbed his father to death and he was released. Norm Eastman beat a 2-year-old to death. He was released. John Yearby beat a homeless man to death with a baseball bat. He was released.
Now, if that is not enough to overturn your convictions and add insult to injury, ladies and gentlemen, listen to the news: All victims will be notified of these violent offender releases.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. In my opinion, America has murder, rape and violence in record numbers because some of our judges are so dumb they could throw themselves at the ground and miss. Maybe, just maybe, if judges start supporting the rights of innocent victims, we would not have so much murder.

CHINA-MADE BOOTS
March 12, 1997
Mr. Speaker, it is no wonder that millions of Chinese dollars have popped up in American politics. I mean, check it out: China alone gets $45 billion from American taxpayers in a sweetheart deal known as most-favored-nation trade status.
Now, to me, that is absolutely disgusting, with the 17 cents an hour labor wage. But if that is not enough to rip one of those false made-in-America labels on one of those Chinese imports, check this out: The United States Air Force just issued military combat boots to our troops that were made in China. That is right. American military personnel are wearing combat boots now made in China.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. What is next, marines in Mao suits? I think it is time to take a look at what China has done and take a look at every one of these sweetheart trade deals.
I yield back the balance of all American shoe wear that has cost jobs in this country.

CHINA BUYS AMERICA
March 11, 1997
Mr. Speaker, news reports say that China tried to influence and buy last year's Federal elections, including the Presidency. All of America is in an uproar. Newspapers are in shock and people are calling the talk shows on the radio and saying they believe America is for sale. Can you blame them?
China gets most-favored-nation trade status but sells missiles to our enemies. Japan keeps raping our marketplace, approaching $70 billion in surpluses, and they keep denying our products. Mexico gets billions of dollars from us and they ship narcotics to our streets. And now American companies overseas are advertising in the newspaper for American workers to move overseas and get a good, livable wage job.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. America is not for sale. I think America has already been sold, and I think Congress should start looking into it. Sold, lock, stock, and pork barrel.

BRING OUR JOBS HOME
March 5, 1997
Mr. Speaker, jobs keep leaving America on the fast track. Wrangler Jeans is laying off 3,000 workers and moving 12 factories overseas. Apple Computer, they cut 1,500 jobs last year; they are cutting another 3,000 jobs this year. Shoemaker West is cutting 1,000 jobs, moving 3 factories overseas, and now, under WTO, Costa Rica is challenging Uncle Sam over underwear. Unbelievable.
American workers are not only losing their jobs, now they are about to lose their BVD's. It is getting so bad that in Longview, WA, a robber entered a grocery store wearing a pair of pink panties over his head. The police said they never saw anything like it.
What is the surprise, Mr. Speaker? Jobs are getting so scarce in America today robbers cannot even buy pantyhose. I yield back the balance of all the lingerie and all the other problems. Beam me up, Mr. Speaker.

DRUGS FROM MEXICO
February 26, 1997
Mr. Speaker, in America today 80 percent of all heroin comes from Mexico; 80 percent of all cocaine and all marijuana comes from Mexico; 80 percent of all narcotics in your town, in my town comes from Mexico. It is so bad that Mexico's top government drug fighter was busted for helping drug traffickers.
And after all of this, reports now say that the White House is leaning towards certifying Mexico again as a cooperating partner in America's war on drugs.
Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. I do not know who is sleeping in Lincoln's bedroom, but I think a bigger question to be answered around here and in Mexico is who all is in bed with these Mexican drug dealers? Last I heard it was still Uncle Sam, not Uncle Sucker. Take a look at it and think about it.

LUCASVILLE PRISON
February 13, 1997
Mr. Speaker, after a 1993 riot at Lucasville Prison, Ohio taxpayers spent $353 million to straighten it out. If that is not enough to bust your parakeet, check this out:
To settle a lawsuit filed by the prisoners, the inmates in this prison, Ohio taxpayers must now pay another $4 million for punitive damages and property damages of these prisoners. Unbelievable, $4 million to rapists, armed robbers, and murderers.
This Lucasville ordeal is a classic example of how we treat crime in America. The law turns its back on the victims of rapists and murderers, then turns around and compensates rapists and murderers in prison who burned the place down and destroyed it. Beam me up. If there is any sense left, someone explain it to me in writing.
I yield back the balance of any more punitive or property damages.

MEXICAN REPAYMENT OF LOANS
February 12, 1997
Mr. Speaker, headlines said: Bailout a success, Mexico repays Uncle Sam.
Yellow brick road time. Do not bet your pesos on it. Reports now say that all of the money used to repay the loan was borrowed at interest rates so high they would make John Gotti blush.
Folks, I say there is a big con game going on here. Mexico is in a shambles, and what is worse, the cancer from Mexico is spreading to Uncle Sam. Eighty percent of all narcotics are now coming across the border, and there are two giant sucking sounds here, folks: No. 1, American jobs going to Mexico; and, No. 2, Mexican cocaine going up American noses.
Beam me up. If this is a success, then General Custer at Little Big Horn's victory must have been called a victory.
Let us stop the propaganda. Let us get a trade policy with Mexico. Because the truth is, it simply sucks.

MITSUBISHI OF AMERICA?
February 4, 1997
Mr. Speaker, when Mitsubishi opened a TV factory in California, they made an announcement and they said Mitsubishi of Japan is now Mitsubishi of America. They even waved an American flag. Well so much for all the patriotism, my colleagues. Mitsubishi announced they are closing their California factory and moving to Mexico. They said they are going to cut costs, expand profits and after all, they said, Mexico is America.
Beam me up. I have seen the new world order. It is coming to pass. We can now buy American by buying Japanese from Mexico, and if that is not enough to wax your Toyota, the White House wants to expand NAFTA to all of Latin America. Beam me up, Mr. Speaker.
Beam me up. Our kids are going to have to move to Mexico to get a job.

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